Blessings and Pain

      I have so much to post about, I really don't know where to begin. Life for me the last 3 months has been really, well spent on my back for most of it or hobbling around from one end of the house to the other. This pregnancy started the same as all of the others, I felt good for the most part until the beginning of September when I got  a little pain in my hip. Well that little pain turned into a huge pain, and by the end of October I was not longer able to sit at all. Diagnosis, sciatica.  No big deal right. Just get your back and hips in place and you should be good to go. Right. Wrong. Because of the relaxin in my system from the pregnancy, we couldn't get my body to hold an adjustment, so I ended up on bed rest until the baby was born.  Bed rest is terrible. There I said it. I don't know how women who have to do that for the whole nine months don't go crazy. I have never felt so helpless. I just kept thinking as soon as the baby is born life will get back to normal. I couldn't hardly wait for him to be born. I was in so much pain, I thought labor might be unbearable. My sanity was wearing thin, from being in constant pain, without the ability to take any painkillers. Thankfully, labor was really good. My midwife broke my water at 7:30 on Dec. 14 and by 8:00 was starting to feel contractions. Levi was born at 9:15. I was able to use the birthing pool, and honestly I think that was what made delivery for me good. Heather and Farah were also able to push on the pressure points in my back during delivery, Which really helped. All in all it was a great birth. With the result of a beautiful baby boy.
       If only my back could have automatically realigned itself. Then life would be perfect. Yet alas, apparently natural childbirth wasn't enough to teach me about true pain. So I am still learning what pain is. Sciatica, is by far the worst pain I have ever felt. It doesn't let up or go away. Excruciating, like torture when you feel it you immediatly begin to sweat, and shake. Then start crying and begging for the pain to stop. I have never been a pill popper, but now I can say, I watch the clock so I can take the next dose of ibuprofen. I feel pathetic. I am thankful that Levi is here and that I am nursing him, otherwise the bottle of  Lortabs the doctor gave me might not still be unopened.
My kids through it all have been troopers. Smiles alot has really had to be the mom of the family. I am so grateful for them, and for Clayton  and my Mom. I couldn't have made it through this without them. I am really grateful to Heavenly Father, this experience in my life is changing who I am. I don't think I would have asked for this, but it has made me realize that little prayers are answered. Blessings strengthen you even when immediate healing isn't what Heavenly Father wants for you. I am still mending my body, but I am not without hope for a recovery. I can now sit to nurse the baby, and I don't cry every time I move my body anymore. The pain has gone from a 10+ to about a 7. I can now walk around the house and even do the dishes and vacuum. Small steps I know, but huge in the big picture of things.

In spite of everything, we had a really great Christmas, with our own sweet little baby to love. I will post some pictures as soon as I can.